A lot of time what is going on when parents are forcing certain kinds of clothing or gender expression on their kids is that parents are in denial of their child’s sexual orientation or gender identity or not ready to accept what that might mean. If this is happening, you don’t have to go through this alone. Bring a queer friendly therapist (you can ask a therapist if they have experience working with queer youth or search online. Ask your mom to go to a PFLAG meeting. I know this wedding is a month a way, and miracles probably aren’t going to happen by then, but these could be steps towards your mom understanding how you feel. So often, parents need time to grieve the loss of their ideas of what their children would be like. In the meantime, you need to feel as comfortable as possible.

If she won’t work with you on a pantsuit (lots of people wear pantsuits to weddings!) perhaps you can make a compromise with your mom: you wear a dress for the ceremony and dinner, but as soon as the dancing starts you put on a pair of dress pants. Hey, girls put on flip flops when it’s time to dance sometimes at weddings so they can really get down. A pair of dress pants is certainly more formal than flip flops. If anyone asks why you changed, you can tell them that dancing is way easier in dress pants! As for what you can wear in the dress department — maybe trying out a skirt/dress shirt combo — that would certainly make the dress pants switch easy later on. 

Sonia says: You can also check out the formal wear tag for inspiration, and maybe even to show your mom some really awesome alternatives!