Anonymous asked: Dear Sonia, great blog. I have a problem. I love being gay, and I don´t mind people connecting my style with my sexual orientation, in fact it makes hooking up a lot easier. But, I am really tired of people mistaking me for a boy. But does that mean I have to move towards a heteronormative style? Is lesbian style only defined on a one dimensional scale from butch to femme? My question is then how do I dress less gay without losing the gayness?

Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like some people see you and pin you as a lesbian. Others read you as male. Someone might think you are a student because you’re carrying a backpack, or think you’re white when you are light-skinned Puerto Rican American. See the problem? People will always make assumptions about us. So my answer to you is to not change a thing.

Anyway, why should boys have dibs on dressing in a traditionally masculine way? Missy’s outlook in this post was perfect; if people think you look like a boy, don’t they mean that boys look like you?  

To answer your second question, Lesbian style, or gender presentation/identity goes across and outside and around all possible spectrums we could ever think of. There is no either/or. Here are some more fun qwearies about gender presentation.

Thanks for following!

Sonia