Anonymous asked: I have been thinking that I might want to experiment with binding, but I’m feeling really confused and new about it. I am a cislady and I dress fairly femme, and I’m not sure how reducing my books would affect the fit/look of my clothes. I also have ABSOLUTELY no idea where to start/how to go about it. And I don’t know how to respond to people asking me about it. basically I just feel really lost.

Can I just say that I <3 you? You summed up the human experience so beautifully in this question. 

Fit of your clothes: If you are wearing cislady clothes, there may be some extra room in the chest area. Some lady clothes are built for larger racks, or meant to enhance the look of them knockers. For others, it doesn’t really matter what your blinkers look like, because it will just hang.

(from: shopbop.com)

This top is totally cute and femme, and would look great on a variety of chest sizes.

Modcloth may as well have called it the “Look at my boobs dress.” Aside from the fact that part of it is see-through, you might be left with some unfilled cups.

I’ve become more comfortable with the idea of wearing lady tops once I started binding, because they now fit in a way I’m comfortable with. I’m less concerned with only buying shirts that hide my chest. I’m confident you will find things that look great if your current collection doesn’t work for you.

Brands and binding safety: I’ve tried a few different brands, and the Underworks Tri-top Chest Binder works the best for me. I’ve heard less awesome things about T-Kingdom, although one reader on Autostraddle wrote, “it was nice to have the velcro when i first started binding because it made it easy to put on and to adjust tightness while i was getting used to binding.” I also recently tried the Buckle Elastic Chest Breast Binder at sohoeva.com and it was kind of a joke. Did nothing for me.

Chestbinders.wordpress.com also has pages of comprehensive binder reviews.

Binders should feel a little too tight when you first try them, and then adjust over the next few days. But if you can’t breath it’s too tight! Ace bandages are dangerous, and you want to make sure to take your binder off at night to give those books some time to breath. If you live in an area where you can find a trans friendly health care provider, you should find one who you feel comfortable talking to about binding. Just google the name of your city + trans friendly health care provider. (You don’t have to be going through a transition to see these doctors. It is just the easiest wording to find what you are looking for on the web.) 

Responding to people about it: Changing the subject, or “I don’t like talking about my undergarments,” seems good to me. But seriously you guise, you never have to say anything. People often think they have a right — especially with women and trans* folk — to talk about their bodies. As if your body is their’s to comment on and approve of. If you want to bind, that’s enough reason to bind. You need no other reason, and you never have to talk to anyone about it. If someone asks you where your headers went, you can tell that that’s an inappropriate question. Like, even if it’s your best friend.

People like to try to understand our gender choices, and their need to understand can make us feel like we shouldn’t do anything we can’t explain. Talking to people you trust is great, but people you trust will accept whatever explanation you want. “I’m binding because I want to,” should be all you have to say in order to get their support.

I’m really proud of you. Embarking on binding for the first time can be totally overwhelming, but just keep looking for ones that fit. Hopefully you have some queers in your community to talk to about it too. You’re gonna be great, kid!

- Sonia

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Hay Boston: hairdids and nails today! woooo!! If you still need the address, email me: sonia@qwearfashion.com.

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With spring around the corner, I know what’s on everyone’s mind: Masculine Floral. Femmy femme floral. Overpowering Patterns. Take it from me… there is no such thing as being too faggy. My top retail places to pick up some floral this season are Topman, Topshop, H&M,  Forever 21, Modcloth  ASOS, J.Crew; and for ties, General Knot & Co, hands down. But my first plan is to scrounge the thrift stores to find men’s floral shirts and then get them tailored to fit. 

(from: lyst.com) Pants from H&M

Grey Floral Pattern Socks, $6.00 at Topman

(from dapperq.com) Shirt from ASOS

Walk on Flair Flat in Orange Blossom, $37.99 at Modcloth

UPDATE: This shirt costs ~ $262.96 + shipping and can be purchased by emailing klas@roseborn.com (from roseborn.com)

(from: lookbook.nu) Tie from General Knot & Co

Floral Print Pants, $22.80 at Forever 21

Floral Bow Tie, $55 at J.Crew

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Bow Ties are Cool.

That is the mantra of the Eleventh Doctor, the titular character of the BBC show “Doctor Who,” and is probably enough to convince you to dress more like this man. The abundance of warm earth tones and the professorial vibe of the doctor’s look lends itself well to autumn. You can mix and match different aspects of the doctor’s ensemble for your own seasonal look. 

The Bow Tie: I’m pretty sure the intro said it all. Whenever he can help it, the doctor is wearing a bow tie. His go-to is a narrow red bow tie, although he also wears a blue one on occasion. And for really special occasions he’ll break out the white silk bow tie.

How to incorporate this into your look:  For your everyday wear, chose wool or linen bow ties rather than silk ones; in a dark shade, with a narrow bow (batwing or a thinner semi-butterfly). Narrow cloth bow ties are more casual but equally dapper. Or for double the doctor fashion points, opt for a tweed bow tie. For formal affairs, go white silk.

High quality bow ties are hard to find sometimes. Vintage clothing stores are a good place to start, and I love the selections at High Cotton. Pictured above is the Darden Woolie Bow Tie.

(sources: J.Crew, A.P.C. - Elbow Patch Sweat, bintheknow.wordpress.com)

The Jacket: The eleventh doctor wears a well-fitted tweed jacket with elbow patches. Elbow patches are one of those delightful details, effervescent of your old college professor.

How to incorporate this into your look: Tweed jackets are an excellent addition to any fall wardrobe. See the tweed jacket selections of Topman, House of Fraser (men’s), The Outnet, and Modcloth (women’s). Or just go with the elbow patches! Many brands like H&M, Zara, and ASOS, to name a few; sell sweaters, cardigans, and blazers with elbow patches. Or if you like sewing, add patches an old sweater or blazer for a personality revamp! Here’s a DIY elbow patches tutorial. 

The Details: The doctor tends to wear slim-fit shirts with button-down collars. But the beauty lies in the details. His shirt is often a muted shade of his bow tie color. And for another nice touch, his suspenders always match his bow tie. 

A second really great element of his shirts are the contrasting cuffs. Although the only time they are fully visible is when he gets dressed, you can seeing them peaking out though his sleeves throughout the series. The doctor’s cuffs are a darker shade and ringed, similar to the cuffs on a letterman jacket. It’s a nice little burst of color and a fun detail. 

How to incorporate this into your look: The exact shirt the doctor wears was made and sold by UK designer Paul Smith. It was part of a limited edition collection in 2010 and is no longer available. But for a similar style, look for the colors of your accessories in a muted tone. Also for slim fit shirts with cuff or collar contrast details. Try Claudio Lugli, Hugo Boss, Dockers, Brooks Brothers. Finally, don’t underestimate the value of a good pair of suspenders! His are a simple clip on; easily picked up at Topman or American Apparel.

Our second meet-up last night was nothing short of queertastic. The Middle East was like a packed can of dapper. Packed as in, I had to escort my friend to the coat shelf so she wouldn’t get trampled. And act as messenger between FFAF and wife who were two feet away from one another.

And oh… the outfits!! So many ties, suit vests, suspenders, sparkly things. We’re already thinking up amazing plans for the next one; so stay tuned, stay cute, and thanks for being you.

So much curly haired cuteness. I can’t even.

Karen on the left is the Phat Ally!

Suit vest? Yes please.

I love this.

My second night with these lovelies… yes! Also. Hellllooo in the background.

Rae on the left is one our fabulous consultant who knows shiz about overalls! 

I look a little crazy eyed. Must have been all the queers…  In the middle is Matt. You may remember him from this. Rhiannon on the left felt a sudden urge to chop off her hair after being there for 10 minutes.

Eyes open or closed, I love these folks. Missy is totally wearing the Coach Tour Dress Modcloth that I was drooling over for months.

cute cute cute cute

Had to take a photo of the outerwear before they left! And those hand sanitizer folks will be really pleased. Isn’t M’s hat fantastic?

Anonymous asked: Hi! I have a huge bag problem, and I believe there are many out there who do too! Its so hard to find a multifunctional bag that can looks great when I wanna look more femme, but not too caught-under-the-armpit in that overly girly way. Something for someone who lies somewhere in the middle :)

I totally know some people in the same place. Here are some ideas for mid-femme bags:

Camp Director Tote, available at Modcloth for $54.99

Anna in Teal, available on Etsy for $45

Square Shape Leather Backpack - Tan Brown, available on Etsy for $150

Louche Denk Handbag, available at joythestore.com for $46.50

Farm Rucksack, available at Makr for $160

The weekender, available at Everlane for $95

Warehouse Color Block Satchel, available at ASOS for $63.32

Two tone canvas bag, available on Etsy for $39.00

Happy carrying!

- Sonia

Related posts: Holdalls, Gym Bags, and Cute Duffles; Boi Bags; Not-in-School Backpacks

Anonymous asked: I’ve seen overalls coming back more and more as a trend, but I’m not sure how to wear them stylishly. I’m also wondering how I could make them look more girly. Any suggestions?

Rae says: Forget those super baggy Old Navy overalls of your childhood; look for styles of overalls that are slimmer cut. To femme it up try wearing them with a flowy chiffon top, some fun flats, and an armload of gold bracelets.


Miss Sixty Denim Overall, available at Yoox for $98


Minkpink ‘Double Take’ Polka Dot Chiffon Shirt, available at ASOS for $78.95


Walking on Air Flat, available at Modcloth for $34.99


Spike Glee Bracelet, available at Modcloth for $21.99

Mystique the Truth Bracelet, available at Modcloth for $19.99

Couldn’t Filigree More Bracelet in Ivory available at Modcloth for $24.99

(Gosh, y’all. Rae is visionary. - Sonia)

Related Posts: Overall Awesome

The beauty of peter pan collars has been calling out to me since the beginning of my fashion obsession (c. 2011). In addition to its vintage goodness, it is very school girlish — two styles I can’t live without. Dresses with collars also have an androgynous edge that I just adore. 

I haven’t yet found any men’s shirts with peter pan collars. There are rounded collars which are also dazzling — as you can see in this Topman shirt — but they don’t lie flat on the shoulder in the same way. However, you can buy or make the collar separately (shown below) and add it to any outfit. I’d LOVE to see a more masculine or androgynous person get up on that. (Submit here!)

Until then, here are some of my favorite inspiration and buys for the femmes and femmewear admirers:

Extra points for the sexiest hair ever. Navy Collar Shift Dress with Pearl Embellishment, available at Dahlia for $30.00, modeled by Christina Caradona. (Follow her blog, Trop Rouge.)

(source: zitychoc.blogspot.com) Get yours at American Apparel

(source: milkteeths.blogspot.com) Clothes thrifted. Can’t find blue gingham collar like that, but here is a Unionmade Crew Neck Sweater in Pink.

Detachable Peter Pan Collar in grey, available at Luulla for $30. Similar designs available on Etsy.

Oh, and those socks… and Dr. Martens… and glasses…

Ebba Zingmark, modeling the Navy Skater Dress With Collar, available at Wandering Minds for $68.34. (source: lookbook.nu)

Green peter pan collar dress, available at Dorothy Perkins for $35.00. And by green, they mean teal.

Gosh darn. Wouldn’t this make such a good bridesqueer dress? Feeding the Doves Dress, available at Modcloth for $69.99

Simple Cut Peter Pan Collar Top in Neon by Chic+, available at chicwish.com for $43.90
This site is so much like Modcloth! Kitschy titles, vintage fashion by indie designers, photos on mannequins, and CUTE CLOTHES in the upwardly affordable range.

Put a Swing on It Dress, available at Modcloth for $114.99

Shesunderneaththewater asked: I recently bought the new Taupe Suede Desert Wedges from Toms Shoes and I have no clue what to wear them with (especially now that the weather is getting colder). I usually dress more on the femme side but essentially I’m just a queer hipster/hippie. Do you have any suggestions on how to wear them? Thanks!

Rae says: I’m going to start from the ground up. I love adding unexpected pops of color to a neutral outfit. Try some brightly colored tights, plain khaki chinos that are a little slouchy and rolled up at the ankle, a slim fitted cable knit sweater, and a printed coat to keep you nice and cozy.

Toms Taupe Suede Women’s Desert Wedges, available at Nordstrom for $88.95

Deep Pink 70 Denier Tights, available at New Look for $5.25. (We Love Colors also has nearly every color and size tights you could think of.)

Broken-in straight khakis, available at Gap for $49.95 (25% off with the code GAPCHEER until October 14 at 11:59 PM ET)

(Maybe if you can thrift something like this) Ralph Lauren Grey cashmere and wool sweater, available at FarFetch for $271.74

Style Stimulant Coat, available at Modcloth for $57.99

Anonymous asked: Okay, so, here goes: I am a "femme" lesbian, always have been, but I'm so tired of being misread as straight. I do want to look "more gay," but when I try, I kind of just end up looking...ridiculous - probably because I am very petite but with a relatively large chest and butt. Ugh. What are some women's stores where I can find edgy/"gay" clothes? Anything besides Urban Outfitters?

A.D. says: Sometimes, people with penises misread me as ‘straight’ (? this is weird…) because I have long hair, so I understand your frustration that you feel not-visible/not being read as a gay-mo. One sure-fire way to make sure others know you’re a big ‘mo (aka homo) is the rainbow. Wear a rainbow pin or bracelet. Other ways are “gay” shirts. 

As far as stores, I buy everything at thrift stores/free stores/clothing swaps because I can afford the clothes AND I’m not actively participating in the traditional clothing economy, which relies on the exploitation of children and women internationally. I would suggest starting at those stores… Other than that, “gay” fashion is so geographically-specific. I like H&M, J.Crew, ASOS, TopShop, ModCloth, Etsy, etc. Good luck!

All my followers in cold climates are freezing because I haven’t posted about leggings and tights yet. Sorry guysss!!! Leggings and tights are traditionally thought of as feminine, but I really love making them into a masculine or androgynous thing too. Some people call men’s leggings “meggings,” which is dumb and gendered. But whatever works to help stores get them on the racks. 

Leggings and tights can be worn under shorts, skirts, or ripped jeans. Leggings, because they are thicker, can also be worn with over-sized shirts/sweaters. Then when you get to “jeggings;” a cross between jeans and leggings, you can wear them on their own. Flaunt it, queers.

More AMAZING photos of this outfit on her blog: anouskaproettabrandon.com

(source: lookbook.nu) Leggings from Zara, but these functionally count as jeggings.

(source: flickr.com)

(source: socialbliss.com)

(source: mirjami.myshowroom.se)

Places to pick up tights and leggings: American Apparel, H&M, Topshop, ASOS, Modcloth, Zara, www.nylonjournal.com