Anonymous asked: I bought two pairs of jeans, a straight fit and a boyfriend fit. I've been wondering about different ways to wear both pairs. I've looked online for some inspiration but a lot of sites have said to feminize your other accessories. I identify as more butch/ androgynous, do you have any tips of what to wear with these jeans? I've never worn boyfriend jeans before, and don't want to look too slouchy, just well put together.

A.D. says: JEANS ARE, LIKE, THE PEANUT BUTTER OF CLOTHES; THEY GO WITH ANYTHING.
except bathing suits.
and even then you can wear denim jorts. I love summer and legs. Allllright, I’m done.

Real talk: I know what you mean; all the websites say accessorize with a neon pink cardigan with gold buttons, but I say, butch up a pair of jeans! Wear a collared shirt with a tie or bow tie or sweater or vest. If it’s cold, heck, throw on a leather jacket or blazer. If your wrists feel cold, grab a leather band (or fake leather band, because animals are our friends and killing them for an accessory is really silly).

With jeans, shoes define the outfit; a nice pair of dress shoes says, “Look, I’m a grown-ass adult.” A falling-apart pair of Converses say, “I’m not an adult, okay?! I just want to wear sneakers.” So, if you want to look well-put together, I suggest wearing a collared shirt with a sweater, with (somewhat, doesn’t have to be exact) matching belt and shoes. It’s easy and comfortable, and definitely not feminized.

For more visual inspiration, here are some non-feminine jean wearing submissions (warning: Hot Queers): Ashley + Tie Achieved, Blake’s Thrifting Success, Mainstream Street Smart, Men’s Vest Trick, What Suede Says

friendlyneighborhoodgay: I’ve fallen in love with a pair of Naked and Famous jeans (specifically the red weft selvedge denim. It’s part of the current raw denim trend), but my problem is that they’re guy’s jeans. I don’t really dress in an androgynous way (I’m 5’1, size 8 pants, 37-38 inch chest to give an idea), so I’m not entirely sure how I’d make these work. Any suggestions?


Red Weft Selvedge jeans, available at Naked and Famous

Interesting dilemma. Those jeans are pretty awesome looking. Menswear is so what you make of it. The whole idea around “boyfriend” clothes is that you take it and make it feminine. It’s partly about what you decide to pair it with, and partly just your attitude.

So, buy the jeans. I mean, try them on if you haven’t. And make sure you love them just as much on your person as you do on the model wearing them. And then pair it with some of your more feminine things. If you were to take inspiration from the boyfriend jeans trend, you might roll it up a little extra to make it look like it’s supposed to be too big, and wear it with flats or heels.

Now, queers. I’m not saying that I support the whole boyfriend clothing trend in all its heterosexism and gendered antics. But the trend gives a really interesting point; that you can wear masculine clothes in a way that will bring out your femininity. On the flip side, the fact that boyfriend clothes exist is really nice for queers who actually want to dress androgynous and have clothes made for their bodies that can help them do that. Some brands, like Gap, are starting to just call it “boy fit,” which I find a lot more queer friendly. There were soooo many pictures to choose from, but here are a few examples I like. More on Pinterest.


(source: blogs.babble.com)


(source: blogs.babble.com)


(source: lookbook.nu)

Related Posts: Mixing Mens and Womens Pieces

Anonymous asked: I am a busty girlperson who prefers masculine tops, but I rather like my chest and don't like trying to flatten it with sports bras or binders. What would you suggest for where to get button downs or styles that appear more masculine but don't force me to compromise by binding?

My busty friends do well with the Gap’s women’s button-ups (pictured below), which are pretty androgynous in style. Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, and J. Crew have pretty androgynous fitting women’s button-ups as well. Boyfriend shirts might also be a good bet. (Who knew that they’d get recommended on a queer blog so much… those poor straight people) They have them at Urban Outfitters, Pacsun, and American Eagle. Comment if you have any more ideas. 

Anonymous asked: I'm slim but with big hips. Any advice on what style jeans to wear to make my hips look smaller and more 'boyish'? And would i be better going for baggy or tight fitting, i've tried both but just can't decide, help!

This answer might help. I think boot cut is the way to go. Wearing darker colors can be slimming. Pay attention to back pockets, because their placement and size can effect how big your hips look. I’m curious if anyone has tried the “Sexy Boyfriend Jeans” at the Gap that I showed in this post. They look like they could be hip slimming.

Click here to see what jeans the other hot queers are wearing. And hey, help a sibling out and leave more ideas in the comments!

theawkwardteenagestage asked: Im still under my parents roof and my mom will not allow me to shop in the boy's section. Any ideas of stores that are totally butch yet preppy at the same time?

A lot of preppy stores have menswear inspired women’s clothes. Not as good as the real thing, but still better than nothing. American Apparel has unisex clothes, like button-ups and T-shirts. So she can’t argue with you there if you show her this picture:

American Apparel Coral Unisex T-shirt (Sorry I just had to)

The Gap’s women’s button-up shirts are also the most androgynous fitting ones I’ve been able to find. I’ve worn them for years (see here)

I think the “boyfriend” style will be your friend. It’s this thing where stores appropriate women wearing men’s clothes by naming the style over what straight girls do when borrowing their boyfriend’s clothes. Nice, huh? They even have the “favorite boyfriend” jeans, in case you have more than one.

I mean, check this out:

1969 Sexy Boyfriend Jeans, the Gap

And you want preppy? Abercrombie and Hollister’s women’s button-ups can be pretty andro.

Abercrombie & Fitch Alyssa

Bass shoes are also a beautiful addition to any preppy ensemble. Many of their women’s shoes are in men’s styles. Bulbous Toe is better than heels.

These Bellingham Black Atanado are totes on sale right now

I’d also try sporty stores like Adidas and Nike, especially for sneakers. If you get into the sportswear style, most of the women’s clothes are going to be pretty androgynous. And when it’s time to get swimwear you can get some pretty sweet women’s 2 piece bathing suits. Also try blazers at H&M, Topshop, Asos, and Ralph Lauren.

• Resources for help with mom stuff:
• www.everyoneisgay.com
• http://everyoneisgay.com/resources.html Click your city!
• www.pflag.org
• www.itgetsbetter.org
• GLBT National Youth Talkline, 1-800-246-PRIDE Mon-Fri 8pm - midnight EST, 5pm - 9pm PST 

Anonymous asked: So I've been wondering for a while now, what is the general rule of thumb for shirt length? I never wear a shirt that shows the top of my jeans/pants or even all of my belt, but I don't know how long a shirt I can wear without looking ridiculous/looking like I'm wearing a 'boyfriend' shirt. Any suggestions?

If you don’t want to wear a shirt in the “boyfriend style,” it shouldn’t go lower than the bottom of your back pocket. As you point out, wearing a button-down that’s too big can make female-bodied people appear more feminine. Great if they want to wear it in a femme way (see what Hootie did) but not so great if they want to wear it as menswear. This may require tailoring.

Here is a good resource on shirt length: http://www.primermagazine.com/2011/spend/style-qa-how-long-should-the-front-be-of-an-untucked-button-up-shirt

Anonymous asked: how to find pants that fit the damn curves without accentuating them? tips on guy's brands/fits? the eternal dilemma.

Yes, this is a tough one! Men’s Gap skinny jeans fit some girls really well, and both Gap and Banana Republic make women’s dress pants that have a “boy fit.” American Apparel has unisex pants. A lot of stores also make “boyfriend jeans” (women’s jeans made to look like men’s.) Also, though you asked about pants, I recommend Old Navy’s “Women’s Perfect Khaki Bermudas,” which you can see in my pictures. If these ideas don’t work for you, another possible solution (and what I often do) is to wear women’s skinny jeans and then express your masculinity/androgyny through all the other clothes you wear. Luckily, skinny jeans are in for men too, so you can still pull off a pretty masculine/androgynous appearance. The second possible solution is to buy men’s pants and then get them tailored to fit your body. I’ve never tried this, but it might be worth it. If you end up doing it, I’d love to see how it works for you! Hope this helps, and I would love to hear from you about any developments in solving the eternal dilemma!