Last Tuesday night, March 26th, at 8pm CST, dapperQ contributor Joelle Zigman and I did a special one-off edition of the KVRX (student-run radio from the University of Texas at Austin) advice talk show, Tell it to a Girl, called Tell it to a Butch. We answer questions about engagement rings, what to wear to prom, coming out to your mother, and how to do animal prints right. Conclusion? Butches make everrrrything better. Disclaimer: every time I pause it’s because I’m looking for an alternative word to “faggy.” Thanks so much for having me, Joelle! 

Additionally, our Three Leaves Menswear videoshoot last Sunday in Brooklyn went really well! Here are some behind-the-scenes photo with me, our tailoring consultant The Handsome Butch, and Katrina Casiño (Autostraddle writer). Many thanks to dapperQ for setting it up! My favorite part of the day was tripping and falling into THB’s arms. (Wait, day? My favorite part of this whole week.) 

This is my “I’m not completely dying of joy being next to you right now,” pose.

I have some more updates coming your way soon, so stay tuned!

Yours,

Sonia Pretend-Butch Oram

This is really exciting. Like, the most exciting. Like, put on your best bow tie and dance alone in your room to Beyonce for an hour exciting.

dapperQ’s Hot Rabbit - Queer Dance Party - Fashion Week Addition’s party was postponed to this Friday, Feb 15th due to the snow storm. And guess what queer will be in town?? 

THIS GUY. That’s me. You know, the queer who blogs for you like all the time. That’s my face. Along with the folks at dapperQ, Rae of The Handsome Butch, Marimacho, and many more! There will be prizes for the best dressed (i.e. not your shoveling clothes. I mean, what?)

Here are the deets (to RSVP, click HERE):

Friday Feb 15 @ The Monster (Downstairs)
80 Grove St (W 4th/7th Ave)
10pm-4am
Sponsored by dapperQ
More info here
UPDATE: 21+

See you there!! Come find me! - Sonia

Thrift stores like Buffalo Exchange are an excellent place to start for cheap, high quality outerwear. Here’s Allex Knight rocking her $16 find. (Thanks, DapperQ, for introducing me to her!)

Vintage Coat: Buffalo Exchange ($16!)
Sweater: H&M
Tank Top: Urban Outfitters*
Jeans: Black LEVI Skinny Jeans
Snapback: OBEY
Glasses: Urban Outfitters*

(Photo Cred: Shaina Chin)

*Urban Outfitters donates money to anti-gay campaigns. Learn more about their actions here. Buffalo Exchange and Ragstock are great hipster alternatives

Follow Allex Kight: INSTAGRAM | TWITTER

that-lovable-ginger asked: Hi there! I've only just really begun to understand that I'm genderqueer, and as a result I've started realising that sometimes I love the idea of dressing masculine. The problem is, I don't own any masculine clothing and don't really know where to begin! My other problem is that I have long hair, which means that I find it difficult to have a masculine appearance (I'm a bit tentative about the idea of cutting my hair short though, because it's such a big change). Please help? :)

Congratulations! Check out A.D.’s blog. They are genderqueer too, and have amazing long hair: exsouthernbelle.tumblr.com. Also check out this post they wrote: Queer with Long Hair.

It can be hard diving into a whole new wardrobe. Are you interested in incorporating masculine pieces into your current wardrobe? If so, you may enjoy this post: Mixing Mens and Womens Pieces. If I was going to buy my very first masculine clothing item, it would probably be a basic button-up. Finding my first men’s button-up that fit really well was an amazing feeling.

I also did just a lot of trying things on and exploring what felt right. I found that the best places to do this are where people aren’t gender policing the customers. So you can comfortably explore and try on many things without feeling like people are watching you. I felt really comfortable in department stores that were either crowded enough that people didn’t notice me, or where sales people weren’t lurking around. It was also easy to bounce back and forth between the mens and boys’ sections. Stores with all gender dressing rooms are also great places to trying on men’s clothing. Dapper Q made a list of stores that have them: Abercombie & Fitch, American Eagle Outfitters, American Apparel, Banana Republic, Express, Gap, H&M, Hollister Co., Old Navy, Uniqlo. (From Dressing Rooms: Legal, Physical, & Emotional.) I’d also like to add that some J. Crews and Club Monacos have them.

Good luck and have fun!

Anonymous asked: Hi! I'd just like to say that I love your blog :D I'm really into androgyny fashion, but I'm a bit curvier so it's really hard for me to find clothes to fit the look I'm looking for. I was wondering if you knew any sites that would cater to bigger girls. Also, I have a difficult time putting outfits together :/ any advice?

Thanks Anon! I have a difficult time putting outfits together too. You should have seen me Rosh Hashana morning. What works for me is to think strategically when I’m buying clothes about how many things they will go with. And when I’m having trouble putting an outfit together, I think about what’s missing. I really need some plaid shirts, man. 

Blogs/websites that might have some things you are looking for: Autostraddle, Boi Meets Play, Buzz Cuts and Bustiers, Dapper Q, Diffuse 5, Queer B.O.I.S, Sartorial Butch, The Bois Department (Put more in the comments!)

We do have a fabulous plus sized fashion consultant named Blake, who specializes in andro-wear. So if you have any specific questions, ask away! Also check out the plus sizes tag, and the tailoring tag.

And I love hearing from plus sized/curvy folks about what works for them, (andro or otherwise) so please write to us and submit!

(Source: Dapper Q)

The trend nowadays is leaning towards a slimmer pant leg. I find it especially challenging to find nice pants with a slim leg in my size. Either they fit too slim in the thigh for my comfort or they are outrageously expensive. The solution? Tailoring. Regular fit pants (without a slim leg) tend to be less expensive as they are not currently on trend. Last week I took my pants to a tailor to get the pants legs tapered. I started off with Tommy Hilfiger chinos that were over 10 inches wide in the pants leg. After I got them back they were about 9 inches (the preferred width for a woman’s pant leg according to my tailor). The most important thing to clarify with your tailor is where the fabric will be taken in. Some tailors will taper the leg starting at the thigh region. DO NOT LET THE TAILOR DO THIS! Tapering from the thigh will alter the size and fit of the pants. As a result, the pants will be slimmer at the bottom and too tight in the thigh. Make sure that the tailor takes excess fabric from the pants leg only (below the knee). She charged me $12 to taper the pants (a fair price). Remember to take this into account when purchasing your pants. 

Also, pair a slimmer pant with a slimmer shoe. A slimmer shoe is a shoe that fits closer to the foot. This creates a streamlined effect that will create a modern silhouette and instantly slim you. You can find slim shoes just about everywhere now. My favorite pair is Cole Haan oxfords that I got from an outlet mall at 25% off retail. Happy tailoring!

Alisa Oxford, available at Cole Haan for $178

Anonymous asked: I’ve been wanting to shop more in the men’s sections, but whenever I try I end up getting so freaked out and scared that someone’s going to look at me strangely or say something to me and my heart starts beating about a million miles an hour. How do I get over this and just get some shopping done (or at least find out what my sizes are so I can shop online)?

Anonymous, Anonymous. How I feel you. I wish I could tell you that as soon as you calm down you’ll find that no one ever looks at you strangely or says anything, but this might not be the case depending on where you live. For me in Boston, it’s been relatively NBD, but not everyone has had the same experiences. Bren Cole also lives in Boston and her account wasn’t as smooth sailing.

Speaking from personal experience, it does get easier. I used to only be able to do it if I felt like I was pretending to shop for my dad. I slowly got more confident and realized that I had just as much reason to be in that section as everyone else, and now it’s just second nature to me to immediately go to the men’s or boys’ section whenever I enter a store. The worst that’s happened has been for sales people to be overeager to show me their acceptance. (Check out this post about the time I shopped American Eagle Boys and this post from when I visited the Mens Wearhouse!) I can’t promise that you will always have as much success as I do, but I can promise that it won’t be as bad as you are anticipating. It will probably just take some getting used to and some reassurance that people aren’t staring at you. And when in doubt, bring a friend! (or as Bren calls it, a “shopping wingfemme.”)

But like you mentioned, it IS the 21st century, which means you never have to leave your house! If you have the financial means to do so (as suggested by a transfeminine friend) you can just order a bunch of shit, get free shipping, try it on in the safety of your home, and then return whatever doesn’t fit. In terms of figuring out your size, check out Dapper Q’s sizing guide.

DapperQ invited me to do their Seven Days of Dapper project, bringing a week’s worth of style. They wrote have a little bio about me too and a quote about why I started Dyke Duds. Check it out! The post includes this new outfit of mine, featuring my beautiful new Adidas sneakers: 

Sunglasses: Lacoste
Shirt: Ralph Lauren Boy’s, (tailored)
Watch: Tikkr
Jeans: Abercrombie & Fitch, “The Erin Skinny”
Shoes: Adidas

Related Posts: I’m Tailored!