Taan gave birth to their beautiful child, Noam Sseki, on December 23rd, 2012. Click hear to read about Taan’s fashion adventures in transmasculine preganancy.

By Guest Blogger Viv Taylor

When I first moved to Boston, I could not find anyone who cut my hair how I liked it. I’m a trans woman. I’m pretty darn queer and identify as a lesbian, given a fairly fluid definition of the term. Before I moved away from Chapel Hill I got my hair cut at a place called Syd’s. It was everything. I’d been depending on my stylist there for a while to navigate that fun place where I was growing my hair out and being open with many folks in my life about being trans, but was not yet living full time in a femme presentation. My stylist was amazing. She did a great job of helping me through a series of looks that were both deeply androgynious, but ultimately queer looking.

When I arrived in Boston I thought I was doing everything right. I got suggestions from my friends, described what I wanted, went where I thought I felt a good energy, but again and again the same thing happened: a hair cut that reminded me more than anything else of a middle aged lady with Right Wing politics on the way to a PTA meeting to complain because she found a swear word in book assigned to her son in his AP English class. It was rough. It wasn’t just that the cuts were unadventurous; it was that they just weren’t me.

It took me a while, but I think I eventually figured out what was going on. The folks who were cutting my hair were doing their best to look out for me. As a butch trans woman, I don’t always get gendered correctly. What I suspect was going on was that I was, consciously or unconsciously, being given the most recognizable “woman” haircut these folks could think of.

There’s often pressure on trans women to present in a very conservative, femme manner, especially if folks are worried about you not being recognizable as a woman. Thing is, you don’t have to present that way. You can play with your look any way you want. If it works, cool, and if not, hey, maybe you learned something.

With getting you hair cut, it might take some work. You need to find someone who you can share a vision with. Even if you don’t know exactly what kind of cut you want, you probably have some clues about what you’re hoping to achieve. Find a person you can talk to about what you are trying to do with your look, a person you feel comfortable asking questions about what they imagine and what they’re planning, and a person who you feel comfortable being totally honest with. A friend of mine had the problem where she could never get her stylist to cut her hair as short as she wanted until she finally had to come out to him.

I actually met my current stylist Nadene Hughs of Shop1 at a bar in Cambridge. I was immidiately impressed by her style, friendliness, and intelligence. I made an appointment to get a cut. We talked about what I was going for (a long but obviously dykey cut) and what I was afraid of (Middle aged Ring Wing Politics hair). The results were awesome. The cut is heavily layered so that it has some length but is also a little spikey and choppy. I can wear softer or tougher depending on whether I straightened it or let it dry on its own. That versatility is key exploring any number of styles.

Looking for a trans friendly hair stylist in your city? The forum can help!

Anonymous asked: This is less of a question and more of a thank you. I'm ftm and have been struggling to figure out my personal style since I started to pass more. Your blog manages to hit the sweet spot between butch, tomboy/femme and dapper. I feel so inspired to put together outfits now and it's done a lot of good for my self-esteem. Thank you so much for creating this awesome space <3

This made my day… thank you so much!

I am back 10 weeks later to share my latest fashion adventures. As a genderqueer transmasculine androgynously dressing person who’s 26 weeks pregnant, it is getting harder. My little one is ever growing, which means my stomach is too. I am noticeably pregnant. And, folks sure do love to talk to me.

Fertile Mind Women’s Maternity Belt, available at Amazon for $19.45 

I have found two solutions to maintain my gender presentation the best I can with my current body shape: the Belly Belt for trousers and non-Western cuts for shirts. My days of fitting into my regular clothing are long over. But I didn’t want to buy a whole new wardrobe just for these few months — too expensive and not practical. A friend of mine recommended the Belly Belt. To my surprise, it is just the adaptation for me! A Belly Belt is an insert with an elastic band with a button on each side and a flap of material that hangs down. Since I can’t button my regular trousers, this elastic extends the waste. I can insert the Belly Belt buttons onto my trousers that I love and the fabric flap hangs down to cover the hole where the zipper is open. And, I get to wear what I want. In fact, I can wear another belt over it, and it covers the part that looks open. I can dress as casually or professionally as I want without spending any money.  

EaonPlus UNISEX Cotton BOHO Dashiki Shirt, available at Fashion Closet for £12.00

Second, non-Western shirts are a great answer for my androgynous style during pregnancy. In my work, there are days when I need to dress up. Non-Western shirts come in larger sizes and they are covered with colorful patterns, which I enjoy. These two adaptations are just the trick for my ever growing little one and my stomach. 

Related posts: Genderqueer Transmasculine and 16-Weeks Pregnant: What To Wear?

I went shopping at the Zara on Newbury Street in Boston yesterday. As I waited in the dressing rooms to try on some fabulous golden chinos, a suited employee came up to me and said something inaudible. “Just one,” I said, making my best guess as to what he was asking me. But then he repeated himself, clearly a little embarrassed. “You’re not allowed in here.”

I quickly realized he meant women are not allowed in the men’s dressing room, and he was reading me as female. 

A little shocked and caught off-guard, I went downstairs to the long line at the women’s dressing rooms, where my female assigned counterparts were trying on 7 items each. After waiting a few minutes, I realized that my interest in the pants was quickly dwindling, and I’d much rather find out why they felt the need to force me into a space that didn’t make sense for me (I almost exclusively shop for men’s clothes.)

So being the radical queer that I am, I went back upstairs to ask a few questions. They told me that they made the policy after a guy opened the courtain on a woman in the dressing room while she was changing. I then asked them if they had any transgender anti-discrimination policies, and they promptly told me that I could use the men’s dressing room if I wanted to. So the bad news is that Zara — or at least the Zara on Newburry Street in Boston — has a discriminatory rule against gender non-conforming folks. The good news is that the minute you complain they let you break it.

Their fearful response to the curtain incident is one that I see a lot among institutions who aren’t educated in transgender and genderqueer rights. People seem to think that enforcing gendered spaces is going to increase the comfort level and safety of everyone involved. Sadly, it does just the opposite. It marginalizes gender non-conforming shoppers, it makes it harder for straight couples or mixed gendered friends to shop together, it makes one line much longer than the other, it forces employees to uncomfortably kick someone out of a space that they have every right to be in, and it encourages rape culture (men can’t be trusted or expected to behave themselves.) As my shopping buddy put it, an anti-creep policy would get the job done more effectively.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What have you done when you got kicked out of a gendered space? After hearing my story, will you avoid Zara? Will you purposely shop at Zara just to show them that we exist?

Anonymous asked: hej, i have a question that is not really about fashion but i thought i could get the best answer from you. so could you explain please the difference between transmasculine, genderqueer, androgynous, queer... it's been confusing me a lot. thanks for your answer. btw your blog is awesome and i check it every day. and the name change is just brilliant!

Thank you!! An important question.

Transmasculine, to quote Gender Wiki, ”is a term used to describe those who were assigned female at birth, but identify as more male than female. Transmasculine is often used as a catch-all term for all people assigned female at birth who identify as masculine of center, including trans men, but the adoption of the term as an identity is a matter of personal preference… Those who identify as transmasculine, as opposed to simply as FTM or a man, trans or otherwise, often place themselves masculine of center- that is, they identify more closely with maleness than femaleness, and generally desire a physical appearance that reflects this identification, but do not identify as wholly male or as a man.”

Genderqueer is a term for all gender identities that lie outside the gender binary. People who identify as genderqueer may think of themselves as genderless, inhabiting aspects of male and female identities, somewhere in between male and female, or fluidly moving between genders. Genderqueer typically refers to identity and not presentation, and can include people who identify as transgender, or who chose to subvert gender for political reasons. (So for example, a FAAB could identify as genderqueer but still dress according to the gender binary.)

Androgynous, unlike transmasculine or genderqueer, typically refers to gender presentation. It comes from the idea of a person who inhabits traditional male and female characteristics, or who’s assigned sex is outwardly unclear. Not all people who enjoy dressing in an androgynous style intend to make their assigned sex unknown, or identify outside the gender binary.

Queer is an umbrella term for everyone who is not straight or cisgendered. Queer basically means anyone who considers themselves a member of the LGBTQ community. It can also be a political identity. Note that many people who enjoy dressing androgynous may not identify as queer.

Hope that covers everything. Feel free to comment if you would like to add anything or offer any changes.

Anonymous asked: Please, please help me i'm at the end of my tether! I'm from the uk and no matter what i do i can't pass as male :( When i was younger i'd pass all the time but now i'm 28 yrs everyone instantly knows i'm female. I've tried everything. I have short hair, wear mens clothes and bind but no matter what i do i still don't pass. I normally wear shirts, t shirts, jeans or occassionly chinos normally with vans but nothing seems to work and i find it so frustrating as i would like to identify as male.

I’m sorry to hear that people are making misguided judgements about your identity. This must be very frustrating and for you. For some trans people, passing is really important because it allows them to feel most themselves. For others, just knowing their identity is enough. If you are looking for your identity to be seen as legitimate (and it is!) finding allies is a great place to start. You can’t control what people think of you on the street, but you can surround yourself by people who love and support you. Check these FTM resources: http://www.ftmguide.org/links.html for trans organizations near you or online communities. As you continue to explore your identity, you can look into what tactics you might take to make yourself as comfortable in your own body as possible. I wish you the best of luck and hope that the Dyke Duds community can continue to be a place of support for you! Not to mention a way to check out other cute queers celebrating their identities.

Thanks to Missy for help with this question!

Anonymous asked: I wanted to know if anyone wears actual chest binders, not ace bandages, but ones like t-kingdom, underworks or double-t? I've been wearing double-t for about three years now and although i can report no physical changes i do worry about the long term implications of wearing them. I wear mine all day, as in i put it on when i dress on a morning and take it off before bed. I'm not FTM so they're not going anywhere lol, i just feel more confident and comfotable without them on show :)

Please chip in with the comments folks! I’m not a binding expert, but one thing I can tell this anon is that many of our readers bind, whether they are FTM, genderqueer, or just don’t like their boobs. 

From my research and what I’ve heard, ace bandage binding is really dangerous and should be avoided all together. They are made to gradually get tighter every time they are stretched, which is what happens when you breath. Binding with ace bandage can hurt your ribs and lungs and weaken your chest muscles over time. 

The general info I can find is that binding with the right kind of materials is fine as long as you take it off at night. http://transguys.com/features/chest-binding is my favorite resource on binders and health. Go Ask Alice has some great advice on what materials to use and health risks to look out for, though I disagree with them condoning ace bandage binding at all. Sadly, binding for several years at a time can lead to health risks, which is why you might want to become familiar with sports bras, save binding for days when you are wearing less layers and it’s more obvious, or consider top surgery. Top surgery is not just for FTMs! Gender is complicated and we have to do the best with the resources we have.

I cannot recommend Autostraddle’s article on breast binding because they recommend Ace Bandages and do not mention health risks. However, the comments offer some solid advice. The majority of readers speak the most highly of underworks as opposed to T-kingdom One reader wrote on their experience: 

don’t use ace bandages! it is uncomfortable and dangerous! i tried ace bandages at first because i was poor, but i quickly realized i needed something better. it was too frustrating having to rewrap many times throughout the day and it wasn’t very comfortable. that’s when a friend recommended t-kingdom binders to me. they are much more comfortable than ace bandages.

t-kingdom binders are ok. i’ve had the m690 and the m1700. it definitely does its job, but i have had people notice i was wearing “something that wasn’t a bra or a shirt” when they hugged me. the material of the binding part is not very soft and the section where the velcro is can feel lumpy. it also does not breathe very well. after binding with these for the last 2 years, i am sick of the loud velcro rip when i have to adjust it or take it off. it was nice to have the velcro when i first started binding because it made it easy to put on and to adjust tightness while i was getting used to binding.”

http://chestbinders.wordpress.com also has pages of comprehensive binder reviews.

If you live in an area where you can find a trans friendly health care provider, you should find one who you feel comfortable talking to about binding. The one resource I can find that claims to have a database - The World Professional Association for Transgender Health - is not working for me when I enter Boston, and I know that the Boston area has many good providers, so your best bet might be to google the name of your city + trans friendly health care provider. Please comment if you have any more info.