Every Bad Take on “The Slap”

This is not a think piece about “The Slap” heard around the world. Rather, this is a think piece about the reaction to the slap heard around the world, or more accurately, reactions.

To me, the truly fascinating, and honestly, the frustrating thing about “the slap” isn’t what went down on the stage, or even why it went down, but the fractured lens that has been cast over the event. We all seem to be seeing something wildly different through our own shard of glass. Having said that, some takes are better, and by far more valuable, than others.

If you’re anything like me, then you know the best way to organize your thoughts and unpack your feelings whenever things go down is to Marie Condo shit! I’m going to sort the arguments we’ve all been hearing one by one, trashing anything that doesn’t spark joy along the way. 

Let’s go!

Like about 16 million other U.S. viewers, I saw it all go down live, and while I was taken aback, my chief emotion was one of confusion. I also felt sad, and a bit shocked, but you want to know what I can guarantee no one watching from home was? Traumatized.

The “I was traumatized” take:

According to the American Psychological Association, trauma is defined as: “An emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster…immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer-term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.”

The “I was traumatized when I saw Will Smith slap Chris Rock at the Oscars” argument began making the rounds online only a few short hours after it went down. The main demographic making these exclamations were, unsurprisingly, white women (and Wanda Sykes). Look, I don’t want to lump all white women together here, but the main issue with this take, aside from misrepresenting what trauma actually is, is that it centers YOU in the entire situation.

Only one person got slapped and screamed at the night of the Oscars and it was Chris, a middle-aged, Black multi-millionaire. You may have had a flashback to some moment in your life when you experienced something similar but what happened that night was an entirely separate event and no one owes YOU justice.

Trash it!

The “he could have killed him” take:

The night of the Oscars, probably the most hyperbolic take on the incident fell out of Judd Apatow’s white brain, and onto his twitter feed when he said of Will Smith’s actions: “He could have killed him. That’s pure out-of-control rage and violence…He lost his mind.”

Sidenote: Twitter was quick to come up with the hypocrisy receipts about the time Judd did nothing when James Franco did a bit more than slap Busy Phillips on the set of his show. Judd very quickly pulled that tweet.

A similarly dramatic reenactment of the slap came from Mia Farrow, who said: “What I saw was one of Hollywood’s most powerful movie stars, stalk onto a stage to strike a comedian…” Mia conveniently omits that Chris Rock, while a comedian, is also one of Hollywood’s “most powerful movie stars.” By design, this lack of context inflates Will’s stature while diminishing Chris’, making the latter more sympathetic in the process, while serving to make the former seem even more aggressive than he already was.

To me, these interpretations, while dramatic and overblown, are also fairly in line with how many white people are scientifically proven to view Black people. Studies have shown that white people tend to interpret the behavior and bodies of Black people, specifically Black men, as more hostile and aggressive than they view white ones. So it should come as no surprise that when white people see Will Smith, a Black man in the midst of a literal act of aggression, they can easily imagine him making the leap to murder. Mind you, his act of aggression was an open-handed slap across the face, the likes of which we’ve seen white women dole out time and again on TV. 

This doesn’t mean I condone Will’s actions, but it also doesn’t mean this take isn’t trash, racist trash.

First-class ticket to the trash!

The “anti-violence” take:

After reading a fair bit of internet discourse, watching the news, and having real-world conversations, the most common refrain I ran into that attempted to shut down conversation around the slap, is the “there is no defense for violence” take. The take typically goes something like: Anyone defending Will Smith is condoning violence…words aren’t equal to violence…we should have self-control and turn the other cheek…yadayadayada.

On the surface, this take feels pretty rock solid. I mean, are you pro-violence? No? Do you lack self-control? No? Then you couldn’t possibly find any excuse to “defend Will” and not “side with Chris.” But it’s the way in which this point is most often brought up, and the things that don’t accompany it (namely, anything approaching nuance) that tip its hand. This take is not an opinion, it is a classic straw man argument.

Rather than grapple with the nuances of race, sexism, and the implications of the public mockery of Black women, and the ways in which that mockery is normalized and often profited from, people wielding this argument almost always utilize it as a way to shut down the conversation completely, and based on a false premise at that. Because the reality is, almost everyone is ok with physical violence to some extent. People’s aversion to it is highly circumstantial, and no, I’m not just talking about self-defense. If you ever voted for a President who waged war, you’re not anti-violence. If you eat meat or wear animal skins, you’re not anti-violence. If you did not openly, and without hesitation condemn the person who punched Richard Spencer in the face, then I don’t want to hear your anti-violence shtick now. And no, I’m not comparing Chris Rock to a Nazi (another straw man argument), I’m interrogating your commitment to this “anti-violence” stance you have.

All intellectual arguments aside, it's hard for me to get down with the “anti-violence” take because I was raised in the school of “talk shit, get hit” (I’ll explain later why I do not hit everyone who talks shit to me) and I think the sentiment behind that saying, even if you don’t practice it day to day, is still very important. Words have weight. They matter and have consequences. And depending on the person you’re talking to, those consequences could involve a slap across your face. I know this way of thinking sure keeps me in line.

Soak it in gasoline, then trash it!

The “comedians who cried wolf” take:

In a shocking turn of events to no one, the stand-up community quickly rallied to Chris Rock’s defense post “the slap”, and their takes were about what you’d expect. Aside from Amy Schumer and Wanda Sykes’ aforementioned trauma (all my best to them as they cope with those flashbacks), you had Kathy Griffin proclaiming that she and other standups would now have to watch their backs while on stage: “Now we all have to worry about who wants to be the next Will Smith in comedy clubs and theaters.”

Now, I don’t begrudge Kathy her anxieties, especially considering the actual trauma she endured in the aftermath of her infamous bloody Trump head scandal (where was the comedy community when she needed them I wonder?) but at this point, I’m a little over hearing about how we need to protect comedians.

From Ricky Gervais’ consistent attacks on the trans community, Kevin Hart’s homophobic tweets, to Joe Rogan’s more recent n-word controversy, not to mention all things Dave Chappelle, it just feels like the comedy community has backed itself into a corner over the last decade where they can’t accept or engage with any criticism when it comes to offensive jokes. This is a movement that Chris Rock himself has been a part of in the past. So in the wake of the slap, I doubt you could blame me much if I can’t really muster up the energy to care all that much that comedians feel persecuted. That’s why “crying wolf” is a term after all; you blow smoke so often that when you actually need protection, no one comes running.

Traaaaaaash it!

The “not in front of white people” take:

I’m not going to spend too much time on this take because we all know what it is, and why it exists. If anything, I’m surprised that in 2022 people like Stephen A. Smith can’t hear how ridiculous they sound. And to think that Black people, in particular, need to mind their manners, specifically at the Oscars, is tragic.

The Academy Awards, and its voting body, have no claim to good taste or respectability. These are the same people who chose to give an Oscar to a man who couldn’t accept his award because he fled the country after drugging and sexually assaulting a child. They gave him a standing ovation too. Jim Carrey, where was your outrage then?

And don’t get me started on Toni Collette’s snub for Hereditary!

Toss it in the bin!

The “protect Black women take”:

Embarrassing Black women is so normal, other people become offended at us being offended. — Tee Noir

The logic that has undergirded the arguments from Black women as diverse as Tiffany Haddish to Ayanna Pressley is simply: the public protection of Black women, i.e. Jada, by a Black man, i.e., Will.

To understand this logic you have to understand that Black people in the United States experience a specific phenomenon that white people do not. The accomplishments and actions of some in our community often become relevant to the rest of us. Think, Obama being elected as the first Black president, and the importance it held for Black people. The phenomenon is called fictive kinship, and even when you unsubscribe from the murky logic of something like respectability politics, this kinship remains for most of us. Moreover, it is backed up in both explicit and implicit ways by the media we all consume.

So, when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, in an act that he felt was in defense of his wife, many Black women felt that they were being defended as well. Congresswoman Pressley said as much in her now deleted tweet.

I’ve seen many tweets suggesting that Jada, i.e., Black women in general, should be able to take a joke at their expense. But this logic suggests that outside of the comedy show, or awards ceremony, we’re all equally maligned on a day-to-day basis. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

In our “post woke” society in 2022, only a Black man could have stood on that stage and even attempted that joke about a Black woman’s appearance. No one else would have dared, so spare me your “Will wouldn’t have hopped on that stage if it were a white man” takes.

This, we’ll keep.

My take:

I can’t pretend like I have hit on every take-out there about the slap, but these are the ones that I care to address. I don’t consume right-wing media, so I’m sure there are plenty of other musty takes out there I’m just not aware of.

But now it's time for my take: I can’t, and don’t condone the slap.

Sorry, not sorry.

Not because Chris shouldn’t have been slapped; Chris Rock is intimately aware of the weight Black women’s hair bears down on them daily. He literally made a movie about it! Alopecia diagnosis aside, he knew he would be inflicting some form of harm onto Jada by targeting her hair in public and chose to anyway. He also must’ve been aware that Will was still pissed at him about his prior treatment of his wife at that same stage, apparently it was no secret. I very much believe that if this altercation had taken place at a cookout, or in someone’s living room, no one would have given a shit. But none of this is why I think Will shouldn’t have slapped him.

He shouldn’t have slapped him because as powerful as a display of violence can be, words are always more powerful.

Imagine if instead of hitting Chris, Will had turned and used the stage to tell Jada how beautiful she looked this evening, even without hair. He would send a more powerful message with a public display of unwavering, unshakable love and support not wrapped up in brute force.

I also hope Chris Rock has the emotional fortitude, and supportive inner circle to help him through this moment…I also hope he finds his way to better material.