I Am My Name: An Amalgamated Retort to the Years of "Not Racist" People
By guest writer Ebony Black
CW: Sexual Violence, Racism, Slavery
I am my name.
No one cares when you're Black.
It's not enough.
Being Black is always less.
Be less, worth less,
Being Black is always more.
Pay more, try more, be more, do more —
Than the person next to you.
"Toxicity" they cry as you beckon out got help.
See me, help me, stop me.
"Attention" they mutter at the backs that are breaking from the weight of the truth. A desparing truth. A... horrifying truth.
"Drama" they groan as they roll their eyes and necks away from the supposed friend who feels the hot pinch from the daily weathered twisted full and tired lips of their "one Black friend" they barely speak to — and no work, school, or casual hobby do not make it as if you could claim us.
Our babies are dying.
We are dying.
We are no longer whipsering.
WE ARE SCREAMING.
Screaming for the world to please change because if there is no change —
The change a therapist tells their suicidal client for $100 sessions will definitely come.
The change that's supposed to be not ending your life over because things /will/ get better...
Right?
The rape of the Black woman far more likely to be ignored as yes I do know from experience.
Her rage a burden.
Her sorrow — annoying.
Her cries — fucking dramatic.
It has been 153 years — though technicality due to prison prison camps the 1940s...
Again I say — YOU say that was 200 years ago and yet my name, let alone my existence brings discomfort. My name on a list, before I have entered a room makes people twist. My name — an adjective — is enough to render me jobless. My name has me shackled to a history that no one would let me forget — that I will never forget.
I am my name.
Born and raised in Baltimore, MD, Ebony has followed her love of art and engineering since she was in grade school. A hobby becoming a way of life, her passion has led her to a world of fun and imagination that as adults we're told that we must turn away from. The Tom Savini Special Make-Up Effects School nurtured her hobby into a respected skill-set that she uses to devote time delighting and inspiring not only youth, but adults to engage and indulge in imagination. Prop fabrication, set design, sculpting, costuming, and make-up are more than just skills, but assets she's loved building on in order to be able to bring entertainment to those who are looking to create and grow.