This is What Asexual Looks Like Part 5: That Pride Shop Founder on Expanding Aro-Ace Representation
This article is part of my “#ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike” series. As an asexual woman who works as a fashion model, I created the series with the goal of providing visibility for asexual people, and dispel the notion that there is an asexual way to look or dress. To discover more asexual fashionistas, check out the previous article.
Pride this year is not like the others. We have all been finding different ways of protesting, celebrating, raising awareness and expressing ourselves in lockdown. Even though we can’t show off our Pride looks at festivals and parades, we can do so online and while living our best socially distanced lives. The interest in pride-themed merchandise hasn’t gone anywhere. In fact, it’s being combined with the emphasis of supporting queer-owned businesses and black-owned businesses.
That’s why I thought now would be the perfect time to interview Tippy, the black aromantic-asexual owner of New York-based business, That Pride Shop. I had stumbled across Tippy on Instagram a while ago and was thrilled to see a thriving, inclusive pride business owned by someone like myself. I have already used this series to shine a light on another Black-owned, ace-owned fashion brand, Gothic Lamb, and this time, I wanted to do the same thing for That Pride Shop.
I've known of your brand for a long time but I know little about who you are, aside from that you're an aro-ace Black woman like myself! Could you tell Qwear's readers a bit about who you are?
Well aside from being aro-ace I identify as a bunch of other things, like witch, vegan, cat mom, artist, amateur poet, jigsaw puzzle master, YouTuber, fanfic lover. I have lots of hobbies, maybe a few too much, I sometimes find it hard to fit all the things I want to do in one day.
I'm also an introvert and I have social anxiety, so I besides all of my myriad of hobbies I try to bring awareness to mental health in any way that I can.
Being Black, asexual, and aromantic, we're a minority, within a minority, within a minority. What has your experience been within those intersections?
I have definitely had some challenges, there's always the narrative of something being wrong with me because of my asexuality and aromanticism, but the fact that I'm a Black women there's the added stereotype of being hyper sexualized, and the thought that if I'm not here for consumption that what am I here for?
I actually had someone tell me that I was like a bowl of fake fruit, because I looked delicious and ready to eat, but when someone takes a bite they realize that I'm fake.
Which only confirms the thought that women, especially Black women are only made consumption.
I have also had the non-believers, the people who think asexuality and aromanticism is not real, in the sense that they usually label me as a lesbian because to them, if I'm not interested in men, then I must just be hiding my interest in women behind a "fake" identity.
When talking to people about being Ace and Aro they find it so bizarre and hard to believe because they have no frame of reference beyond killers and crazy people in movies that are portrayed as having no sexual or romantic desire.
It's very tiring trying to combat these views especially when they are not only coming from heterosexuals, but from people within our own community too, which is why we need so much more visibility for Ace and Aro representation, and it's why I love the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike tag you created.
It's not only a way to see so many different types of people that are Ace it's also a great way to connect with new Ace friends, because finding Ace friends in real life is hard, especially Black Ace friends, but I've found so many thanks to your tag.
What made you specifically want to start an LGBTQ+ focused fashion brand?
The reason I started this shop was because I was looking for the type of clothing that I enjoy wearing. I don't really wear many graphics and I'm usually in all black, so when I went to search for subtle Ace clothing I wasn't really finding the stuff that I wanted. At the time that I was searching for this clothing I also wasn't exactly out, it's not like I was in either because if people found out or outright asked me I told them, but I was still looking for more subtle pride clothing.
When I couldn't find it, I decided to make it, I started out making my own at home with my printer and iron on transfer paper. What made me think about maybe selling was two things, the first was that I posted a photo of the first sweater I ever made on Tumblr and it got so many reblogs and people really loved it.
The second thing was one day I was wearing my sweatshirt at work and a co-worker saw it and wanted to know where I got it from because she wanted one in her flag and I told her I made it myself and she said she'd pay to have one like that.
It was combination of the two that made me realise that if I was interested in these sort of simple subtle designs that featured flags then others might be as well and thus That Pride Shop was born.
I actually started out on Redbubble but quickly realised that it didn't really make sense to sell on there and I decided to take a chance on myself and get my own website.
How have you found building up your own reputable brand as the sole owner and manager of the business?
It's been a bit of a challenge which is understandable because my website is new and doesn't have a ton of traffic or known customers. I was expecting people to be unsure, it's only natural when shopping online to be a little wary of new unknown businesses.
I find that the easiest way to ease people’s minds is to let them see the face behind the brand. It's why I have my personal Instagram linked on my shop page and why I try to answer everyone that comments or DM's me, this way they know there is a real person behind the stock photos lol
This helps them feel more at ease because they've had some interaction with me, but it also adds security to their transaction because they know who to contact if something goes wrong.
It's been challenging, but I believe in this brand and what it represents so it's worth it.
One thing that always stood out to me about That Pride Shop was your diverse use of models. Why did you think that was an important thing to do?
I wanted to be able to have anybody come to page and be able to identify with someone. I want them to be able to say, "oh, that kind of looks like me, I could pull that look off".
As a Black women it's too often that when online shopping I can't find anyone that looks even remotely like me. It's frustrating to not see even a little bit of yourself represented.
I think it's important especially in the LGBTQIA+ community to see representation when shopping.
That Pride Shop is also really inclusive of lots of different sexualities and identities. Do you feel like that isn't as common as it should be in queer culture and products?
Yes, as I mention above before I started my shop and when trying to shop for pride products not only could I not find the designs I wanted, but the ones that were available were very limited, keep in mind that this years ago, probably around 2015, and a lot of shops are much more inclusive now.
I think a lot of time people stick a rainbow on something and call it done, and don't get me wrong, I love rainbow products, but it's so important to be able to proudly wear your specific flag and to feel seen and heard.
I know there are so many more flags that I don't have on my site and that's why I left a highlight on my Instagram letting anyone know that if they don't see their flag on my website but enjoy the designs that I will happily add their flag to the shop if they tell me which design they want it in and which flag.
I don't want anyone to feel like they can't proudly wear their flag because it's not as well-known as another.
I notice you also have some really impressive art on your @thatanxiousartist Instagram! Do you often design the graphics for your clothing yourself?
Yes, I design the graphics for my clothing. I'm usually a traditional artist so I've been trying my best with the digital art for my shop.
Digital art is hard, but luckily all my designs are super simple.
As someone with multiple creative ventures, what keeps you inspired and motivated?
What keeps me motivated is the enjoyment I get from all of my shops. I would eventually love to quit my fulltime job and solely work on my shops, I love what they represent and they joy they bring me.
I love knowing that when someone receives their product they feel happy to be able to proudly wear their flag.
I also only create and sell products that I would wear or own myself, so I get excited when I create something knew because it's something that I actually want.
Do you have any advice for young people, particularly young Black people, who are interested in opening their own businesses like you have?
Yes, I think we should just go for it. I had this idea and vision for this shop for a couple of years before I eventually had the courage to start it. I wish I would have started it that first year I envisioned it.
I will also say do a ton of research, and speak to others who have done it already, there is so much that I had to learn as I went because I didn't do enough research first.
And lastly believe in your vision and believe in your brand because there will be enough people that don't believe in and you shouldn't be one of them.
What's next for That Pride Shop?
I hoping in the future I can get to a place where all orders are fulfilled through me personally.
I currently use a printing company to print and ship out my designs but I would love to get the point where I can have physical inventory and make and ship out all of my products.
But that's in the distant future, for the near future I want add more products to my shop, I want to add more designs, I want to add more flags, and I want add more happy satisfied customers that feel seen and heard and proud.
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