Treating Gender Dysphoria with Fashion

Gender Dysphoria — the sense of disconnection from one’s assigned gender, occurs in many different ways and intensities. For some it’s a distinct knowledge that a certain body part should or shouldn’t be there; for others it’s a more general feeling of disconnection. Your gender dysphoria can also change over time depending on your situation and surroundings. It can range from mild discomfort to all-encompassing agony. There is no right or wrong way to experience gender dysphoria.

Fashion can provide immediate relief from gender dysphoria. People may have surgery or take hormones, or they find that fashion provides enough relief on its own. Regardless of where you are in your journey, fashion is always there to help you feel more aligned with your sense of self.

Sadly, many doctors still do not know what gender dysphoria is, let alone how to treat it. It’s a shame that it’s not standard practice for doctor’s offices to have a rack of donated clothes for people to experiment with and take home. For over 10 years, Qwear Fashion has been raising awareness about this health tool and we are pleased to share a few examples of how people of varying experiences are using fashion to treat gender dysphoria.

I have a huge need on most days to find balance in my appearance / presentation. Most days if I am home I mill about in a little dress or other items that lean femme which I find very affirming but on occasions where I have to be out and about and there is need to appear traditionally mask for reasons like safety, then outfits / make up like this really help.

As a sufferer of baldness a lovely beret helps in times when a wig is not an option. A bit of mesh is both cool and kinda sexy and is a great way to keep that fem energy. Something floral to brighten things up and most importantly these amazing ballon pants that are floaty and easy to wear, they give skirt illusions too. Platform shoes instead of heels do the trick too.

Make-up wise, a little sweep of color on the eyes and a light dusting of foundation powder helps me feel more like myself without the need for full glam. —Triple Minor (@tripleminor)

As a trans woman, I’m always hyper aware of my transness and my dysphoria makes itself most known when I’m in public and become self conscious about being harassed or “clocked." I feel most uncomfortable going out in public without any makeup or being done up and that’s when the dysphoria hits me the most. It makes feel like I have imposter syndrome and I feel bad about being visibly trans. I feel most powerful and confident when I’m channeling my most hyper feminine/ bubblegum fantasy. I find a lot of strength and courage in wearing really vibrant pastel colors and they really help me to feel strong in combating my dysphoria. I relate a lot to fantasy and I take comfort in trying to dress myself in away that reflects the most fantastical and playful version of myself. I’m very inspired by Moschino, Barbie, and Kpop all of which make me feel like my most authentic self. — Andrea V (@Andivovomua)

I have always felt “different.” It was scary. Some days I felt hyper masculine, other days I would feel hyper feminine. It confused me. I always knew I was “gay.” I always loved men. I never knew any other feelings. But more and more this feeling of being “both” kept coming back to me. I am 63 years old (64 this October). I grew up at a time that I was considered “illegal.” Publicly dressing as the opposite sex was against the law. Being in bed with someone of the same sex was illegal. But times slowly changed. I was, and still am, part of the fight for equality of all.

As rights for LGBTQIA grew, I still had this frightful feeling of feeling “both.” Then I lost both parents and suddenly my sister, my best friend. It shattered my life. In ways I still feel. But it made me realize that being your true authentic self was the most important thing you could do. I spoke to my partner and said I need to publicly express myself through my clothing. He said … “great!” So slipping on heels over beautiful sheer hose, and adding more fluid “genderless” clothing to my wardrobe became my calling card. The feeling of freedom and self-worth grew and shined through. People loved what I was doing and they celebrated along with me. I am now free of those bonds that held me back. I am ME … and that is beautiful.” — Ray DeForest (@Hewearsheelsandhose)

I was assigned male at birth and spent the first 30+ years of my life trying to fit into the mold of masculinity that the dominant culture told me I should. I spent hours in the gym building muscles and trying to be strong, and rugged, and tough. I thought being emotionally distant and relying on logic and reason made me stoic and rational. Instead, I felt lonely, isolated, and hungry for community. I had long envied women and their beauty. The options they had in fashion and style, makeup and hair. I had been learning more about the LGBTQ community and social justice and started to realize that nothing was stopping me from taking part in those things that society told me was off limits. I bought a cheap wig and some drug store makeup, watched a few tutorials, and bought a cheap little black dress from a thrift shop. The wig was shiny and fake looking, the makeup poorly applied, and my eyebrows were aggressively unkempt, but I caught a glimpse of who I could be in the mirror, and I fell in love. 

My next major purchase was a set of silicone breast forms. Packed into a borrowed bra, I felt so much closer to that vision I had of my feminine self. My broad shoulders and thick arms were still a concern, but the additional curves helped draw the eye and create some balance in my upper body’s proportions, but I still didn’t feel complete. I still felt like a “dude in a dress,” which filled me with more dysphoria than just presenting completely masculine would, so I kept looking for a solution.

The single greatest moment of gender euphoria came the day I finally received a pair of silicone hip pads. Slipping them into a pair of compression shorts and looking in the mirror, even without the makeup or clothes, felt like I had finally met the person I was inside. I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt feminine, sexy, beautiful, and curvaceous. Up until that point, I had tried to avoid wearing anything form-fitting. I tried to find skirts and dresses that flared at the waist in order to approximate the hourglass figure I wish I had. I suddenly couldn’t wait to put on a bodycon dress or a pencil skirt and feel balanced and beautiful. More than long hair, makeup, dresses or even high heels, those hips have given me the most euphoria in a single dose, and I find myself daydreaming of having hips like that for real. I’m proud of my body and love what it can do, but having the proportions that I see for myself in my mind’s eye lets me feel complete.

I am of indigenous heritage, descended from the Little Traverse Bay Band of Odawa Indians, and since starting my journey of self-discovery, I have learned of the Two-Spirit identity. This term was coined to encompass the many varied words and concepts for people who don’t fit into the gender binary and associated roles. Countless tribes and nations have a long history of embracing such individuals as teachers, healers, seers, and symbols of prosperity within the community. I identify as Two-Spirit, and embrace both masculine and feminine expression, roles, and values in my own community. Since I have opened myself to this identity, I have grown more emotionally and spiritually than I ever thought possible. — Ms. Amber Guesa (@MsAmberGuesa)

Gender dysphoria is something I’ve experienced my entire life, and as a man of trans experience, it’s also something I’ve realized that I will always deal with. It’s an overall sense of not feeling “whole.” But I believe queer fashion is queer liberation, and outfits like these allow for me to intentionally tap in to my masculinity and overall sexiness. Going shirtless is when I feel most free. This chest is sacred and liberated!

— Jae Rice (@djdapper_chicago)

I always thought my dysphoria had to do with my body and the clothes I was wearing—and it was, to an extent. Now that I’ve been able to access affirming healthcare and breakdown the stereotypes of who wears what, I can see it was also about my experience with those clothes and the way society views clothing  as masculine or feminine. It can be hard to determine your own sense of style when you have decided to throw all the guidelines out the window, but it’s a fun chaos and now I just wear what I want and try not to overthink it. — Kellum (@mx.kellum)

Although this is a bright pink women's suit, it's still my first suit. I have a hard time finding affirming outfits to wear for special occasions. A dress doesn't always feel right.

I always wanted my very own fitted suit —and for graduation I got one. I wore my converse because heels make me fall, dangly cherry earrings, and a crochet top.

It was one of the first times I've felt completely myself. —@genderrepealparty

To share your experience with gender dysphoria with us, please send photos, your instagram handle, and a statement to submissions@qwearfashion.com