Tips for Coping with Depression for the LGBTQIA+ Community
The LGBTQIA+ community is facing many struggles, from discrimination, to economic hardship, to mental health issues. If you are reading this, you’ve probably had some struggles of your own. We are part of a targeted demographic and it’s only natural. This is a particularly hard time with so many laws targeting us here in the US.
I’ve always struggled with depression and anxiety. I’ve also developed a number of coping mechanisms that I hope may help you dear readers, if you are also struggling.
I hope one of these ideas help you if you are having a rough day.
Remind yourself: This moment is not indicative of the next
It often feels when we’re in the thick of it that every moment is going to feel like the present moment. Just remember, there have been times when you felt happy and at peace. Those times will come again. It may even come sooner that you realize.
2. Remind yourself: There is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way
Sometimes it feels like everyone else is happy and I am the only one who is suffering. This of course is not true. Depression and negative thoughts are a natural result of stress. It’s your mind’s way of protecting you. Your mind is telling you there is no hope to try to save you from disappointment. But of course there is hope. Any situation is subject to change.
3. Take a walk
Taking a walk or getting some form of exercise can really change your perspective. Getting fresh air and being outside is so important. Every time I feel hopeless and stuck I force myself to get outside and take a walk. Even if you are busy, just 15 minutes makes a big difference.
4. Reach out to loved ones
Reach out to loved ones to tell them how you are feeling. There are people who care about you and want to listen.
5. Call your country’s suicide hotline
Many people don’t know this but you do NOT need to be considering suicide to call. They want to help you before you get to that point too. I’ve called this line before and everyone’s been very caring and helpful. I almost always feel better after calling. The number in the US is 988. Look up the number in your country. In the US, there is also a special program for LGBTQIA+ people under 25.
6. Do something that gives you a change in temperature
If it’s cold, take a hot shower. If it’s hot, take a cold shower, or hold an ice pack against your body. Something my partner Ru taught me is the body recalibrates itself when it feels a different temperature. It may surprise you how much relief this trick brings you.
7. Write down your goals and break it into manageable goals for today
When it feels like things are stagnant and we’re not making progress on our goals, it’s easy to feel hopeless and depressed. Write down your goals, then break them up into smaller chunks — things you can reasonably do today to give you a sense of forward momentum. Often, when depressed, this comes down to cleaning because we fall behind on cleaning and it’s hard to accomplish things in a messy house. So give yourself cleaning goals and reward yourself afterwards with your favorite show or snack.
8. Ask yourself if you are being authentic to yourself
It feels really depressing and isolating when we are hiding parts of our identity from the world. Making steps to be more authentically yourself can really give you a new lease on life. This can start with the clothing you wear. Fashion saved my life and made me love myself. Explore our site for expression ideas. See our outfits page! You don’t need a lot of money to change up your wardrobe if you have access to thrift stores.
9. Write down the thoughts that are making you hopeless and then ask yourself if they are true.
You may be thinking, I will never find a job I like, I will never find a partner, I will never be happy, etc. these thoughts are very common. But they aren’t true. You will achieve your goals. Don’t give up. I know you feel hopeless right now but it’s not always going to be that way, promise.
10. Close your eyes, breath, and imagine you are pouring love into yourself
We all possess a deep love for ourselves and a great ability to heal. Tap into that. You deserve all the love in the world, and it’s inside of you. You just need to access it. Sometimes I pretend there are two Sonny’s — the sad Sonny, and the loving Sonny that pouring love into sad Sonny. It can help to think of how you might comfort your best friend and then give yourself that same love. When doing deep breathing, my therapist has been put one hand over my heart and one hand over my stomach.
11. Do something creative
Draw, write in your journal, or whatever you like to do. I know this is the last thing you want to do right now, but just try it for 10 minutes. You can stop after that if you’re still not enjoying yourself! But I find that creativity gives my life meaning and makes me want to keep going.
12. Find queer community
It can really help to be surrounded by community. Look up groups you can join, virtually or in person. There is something very healing about being around other queer people.
What do you do to feel better when you’re down in the dumps? Write your thoughts in the comments!
Sending lots of love,
XOXO
Sonny
